New Year’s Resolutions

Her list
Leave before he kills me
Plan my escape
Save some money
Do everything to keep him calm
Get another phone, I think he’s bugging me
Find somewhere to go where he’ll never find me
Ring Broxtowe Women’s Project

His list
Put spy wear on her phone
Fit some covert CCTV
Get a tracker for her car
Don’t let her out of my sight
Sort her wardrobe so she stops dressing like a tart
If the slut disobeys, punish her till she shows respect
Plan an ‘accidental death’, I hope she won’t make me do it

On Monday 12th November this year, 8-month pregnant Sana Muhammad was washing dishes at her kitchen sink in east London when her former husband entered the house and shot her dead with a crossbow. Her baby was delivered by caesarian section and miraculously survived. With an average of two domestic murders in England and Wales each week, this unimaginable barbarism is what it takes for a victim of domestic murder to make it from statistic to headline news. But every domestic murder is shocking, we must never get complacent and do everything possible to reduce these horrifying figures.

Domestic abuse doesn’t happen in a social vacuum, the tensions it creates are commonly played out in front of friends, neighbours, colleagues, family and professionals. So, when it comes to domestic abuse, we all have a role to play. We all have the potential to see, hear, ask, listen, question, support, report, challenge, defend. Two deaths every week is a terrifying figure, but perhaps an equally shocking statistic is that a quarter of all women will encounter domestic abuse at some point in their lives. This means we will all be having regular contact with both perpetrators and survivors. What can we do to help?

The neighbours might phone 999 when they hear the screaming from next door
The GP might question the underlying reason for his patient’s depression
The teacher might ask the child why he’s falling asleep in the classroom
The manager might ask his employee why she’s not concentrating
The friend might listen and provide practical and emotional support
The council repair person might report the smashed doors and blood to the police
The dentist might question how her teeth became broken

The fact is that domestic abuse will thrive if we as a culture allow it to. But if we all take responsibility and refuse to turn a blind eye, are prepared to notice, question and act, real progress can be made.

If you need help or support or know someone that does please contact us on 01773 719111