Stalking Awareness


There has never been another point in history when the stalking of domestic abuse survivors has been more prevalent and more serious.

Technological improvements have made stalking easy and cheap. Bugging devices, spyware and hidden cameras are all too accessible to the perpetrators of domestic abuse.

The possibilities for electronic surveillance being used in the abusive manipulation and control of women are endless. Frightening numbers of women are currently being monitored; many won’t even know it!

The following is an example of the coercive control using technology of one lady supported by Broxtowe Women’s Project. Details have been changed so she cannot be identified. The themes that are highlighted in this case study are often seen by our Outreach Workers; they are also becoming worryingly common.

This lady’s husband had never physically assaulted her, that wasn’t his preferred method of abuse. He was a controller, highly intelligent and insidiously controlling.

She was monitored everywhere she went, had a tracking device on her car and phone, had her emails and text message checked.

She wanted to end the relationship but following a discussion about this, we agreed it was too dangerous to tell him this. Her exit strategy needed very careful planning. This lady refused to flee to refuge accommodation, but all other possible safeguards were put in place on an emergency basis, and the police notified. I had a real concern that her partner would either kill her or himself, such was his obsessive control of her. My premonition was realised when he took his own life a week later.

Domestic violence, the physical manifestation of domestic abuse has tended to be considered the biggest risk factor for very serious assault or murder. More recent research has tended to indicate that it’s actually the controlling coercive abusers who pose the greatest risk to their partners.

A recent published study of 358 domestic homicide reviews by Dr Jane Monckton-Smith, of Gloucestershire University, showed that control was seen in 92% of domestic killings, obsession in 94%, and isolation from family and friends in 78%.

These types of behaviour can lead to a victim having no life of their own, and no privacy from their abuser, who will frequently monitor them day and night.

Coercive and controlling behaviour has been a criminal offence in this country since the Serious Crime Act 2015 came into force.

However there have been few successful prosecutions, it is an offence that is very difficult to prove since it often encompasses countless small acts. It is also an offence that seems poorly understood by the Crown Prosecution Service, lawyers, magistrates and judges. Broken jaws and black eyes are a lot more straight forward for the courts.

A research study using data from Thames Valley Police looked at all cases of serious domestic assault and murder between 2007 and 2009 to establish how accurate the risk assessments had been in predicting the serious harm.

In 55% of cases, there was no prior recorded contact with the police. In only five out of 118 cases, the risk was assessed as high-risk prior to the serious assault or murder. The study found that those who committed serious domestic assault and murder offended less than the pool of all violent offenders. This is contrary to previous beliefs about escalating violence. The study also found that male offenders who committed serious domestic assaults were more than three times as likely to be suicidal than other violent offenders. Again, using risk assessments where physical violence scores highly would seem to be unhelpful.

In her research, Dr Monckton Smith identified that in almost all the domestic homicides that she researched, an eight-step pattern could be identified leading up to the killing. The eight steps were identified as –

  1. A pre-relationship history of stalking or abuse by the perpetrator
  2. The romance developing quickly into a serious relationship
  3. The relationship becoming dominated by coercive control
  4. trigger to threaten the perpetrator’s control – for example, the relationship ends or the perpetrator gets into financial difficulty
  5. 5. Escalation – an increase in the intensity or frequency of the partner’s control tactics such as by stalking or threatening suicide
  6. The perpetrator has a change in thinking– choosing to move on, either through revenge or by homicide
  7. Planning – the perpetrator might buy weapons or seek opportunities to get the victim alone
  8. Homicide – the perpetrator kills his or her partner, and possibly hurts others such as the victim’s children


Despite the improved efforts of the police and other professionals, the proliferation of domestic abuse support organisations, a better partnership response and a willingness to challenge the problem openly, attempts to reduce domestic homicides are not working, the number of women killed by men has remained steady for the last decade. But since the global coronavirus pandemic, we now know that domestic murders have spiked markedly. Rather than making assumptions and doing what we have always done, professional working with domestic abuse should perhaps be using this research-based knowledge to improve practices and procedures. Rather than considering numerous assaults as indicative of high likelihood of murder, we should be questioning our survivors in terms of the eight steps, being more concerned about coercive control, and re-writing our outdated risk assessments.


If you’re stuck behind closed doors during the coronavirus lockdown and fear you are being electronically monitored, now is not the best time to confront the issue. If you notice your partner appears to be aware of the content of what you thought were private conversations with friends, it might be best not to challenge him but to be mindful that your activities are being monitored and be cautious about what you discuss with friends. This current situation is impossibly difficult, but unless you or your children are unsafe and need to contact the police urgently, it’s likely that the best time to take decisive action and plan to leave your relationship will be after lockdown has ended and when your support networks and social contacts are more available to you. Remember, particularly with controlling men, it’s at the point of leaving the relationship that the danger escalates.


Broxtowe Women’s Project are still supporting those affected by domestic abuse in Nottinghamshire. If you are experiencing domestic abuse or are affected by past domestic abuse, we are here to help you. You can contact us on or call our mobile support line – 07914 634190.