Survivor Story Part Three
In the third part of Debbie’s story the unbelievable extent of her partner’s financial abuse is revealed the bailiffs arrive and a custody battle begins….
I now realised I had better find out what my financial situation was. I requested copies of bank statements to be sent direct to me. The statements showed monthly payments to Experian, it turns out that he was doing regular credit history checks on me.
The bank accounts also showed signs of money laundering transactions from various accounts through my account – £29K. The bailiffs came around stating that there was a default with the business loan of £140K. I had been added to the business as the business secretary and my signature was forged to set-up various accounts with pins without my knowledge, including Dorothy Perkins and £8K spent on Visa.
We were together for 12 years. Whilst I was making numerous visits to the hospital after the twins were born, as they were two months premature, it came to light that the house that was being leased to my friends was auctioned off, as it was too much trouble.
HE handled all the paperwork and had said that there was negative equity on it. Turns out the property was sold for £82K. HE bought himself a personalised number plate and paid off his credit cards. To my knowledge there was £38.5K equity and a cheque to this value was deposited to the joint account.
After speaking with Experian regarding credit history and the situation I found myself in. I went to file a police report and they advised me to request 10 year’s bank statements to check who had run up the debt.
“HE wanted full custody”
In the meantime, HE wanted full custody of the twins, yet his partner had four children. One twin that had seizures would not cope well with change, he was autistic and was obsessed with things. HE also threatened to kick me out of the two-bedroomed house, as the lease was in his name. HE would send mean texts to me like, ‘tip for the day: do not abuse anyone paying for your phone.’
The phone was crucial to me due to my son with epilepsy and autism. HE stopped the insurance for the car I was driving; as the insurance was paid by his company and the no claims had been accumulating through the business. HE told me that he would help with the mobile phone and car payments – yet I had been offered all this before.
The bailiffs did confirm that I had not signed the business loan, through CCTV camera evidence.
This was a stressful time for me. I went down to seven stone. My sister was diagnosed as being bipolar and my Mum had had a stroke. Through all these difficulties I realised that I needed to leave the house that was leased in HIS name in order to regain control and end the threats.
I tried to sell the caravan that was in my name, however I couldn’t as it had some damage. My Dad gave me £1000 to buy a new car, which I drove back to the house; however, the car stopped working straight away. I had no phone and my son continued to have seizures. This is when I knew I had to get away.
The twins were invited to go to the pantomime with their Dad, however I advised HIM it was inappropriate due to their photo sensitive epilepsy.
I had been warned by a friend that HE wanted equity from the house (which was funded from the sale from my house). I had to get a solicitor to put an injunction on the house so that he couldn’t re-mortgage nor get equity from the sale of this house.
In the meantime, it was nearing Christmas 2011 and I had no money, as my finances were still unclear due to the outstanding loans in my name. HE gave me £200 towards the food and presents.
In part four of Debbie’s story, which we will share Debbie’s attempts to start a new life are troubled by custody court appearances and contact visit concerns
Abusive fathers will use their children in a variety of different ways to perpetuate domestic abuse. Using children is highly effective as a way of exerting power and control over their intimate partners or former partners.
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