Survivors Story Part Two
Following on from the first part of Debbie’s story on Friday where we learned how she was controlled and badly mistreated, we continue today with her explaining how she was forced to live in a hotel room with three children while her partner holidayed in Ibiza …
I was added to the business account due to my excellent credit history and an RV caravan was purchased from the joint account. We went to what I thought was going to be a family summer holiday in the caravan near a lake in Lincolnshire, later to be left there alone with the children for the remainder of the summer holidays.
I had no access to the Internet, bank accounts, emails nor post, during my stay. The reason later given for his having to leave was that he planned on fixing the roof on the fixer-up house and would be busy with that.
I returned with the children in September in time for them to start back at school, only to discover that the roof had not been fixed and therefore had to stay at a local hotel with the children. I also found out that I had been abused financially. During the time I was away with the children in the caravan, HE sold all the furniture, everything, every last cup.
There were no adequate cooking facilities at the hotel and I had lots of to-ing and fro-ing from the hotel to the house with trips to school, fetching necessary things from the home, food shopping and not to mention looking after the dog still staying at the house.
HE did not stay with us at the hotel, instead HE chose to sleep in the garage, with a big television in order to “keep an eye on the builders” with no visits to the children to check if they were ok or needed anything.
One of the twins had his first seizure, at age four, in the small hotel bath. Help was sought from hotel staff and the paramedics came. HE was at the pub at the time of the incident; however, when located he was unable to help with any medical history, including date of birth, as he was drunk.
I spent the night at hospital with my son, with no clean change of clothes and HE took back the other twin to the hotel. My sister picked me up to get tidied up, when HE telephones asking me to get the twin from his work as he had payroll to do. I had not slept all night and was still living in the tiny hotel room with inadequate space and supplies.
“…he would get rid of the dog or slit his throat”
Not long after one of our twins had the seizure, HE went to Ibiza on his own. Our twin continued to have seizures and now having up to 10 seizures a day. He was going alone to Ibiza because he found it too stressful the last time we went to Ibiza together, even though he spent most of his time at the pub and on a jet ski he purchased. My oldest son was surprised that HE was going to Ibiza on his own. I was surprised that he was going through that expense, whilst I stayed at his sisters.
HE later rented a two bed-room house around the corner from where the house was still being built for the children and myself to stay, yet he continued to stay in the garage (as he had to be everywhere).
My oldest son worked at HIS workshop and said that the secretary there had said that HE did not want to be with me and was only with me because of the twins.
When he returned from Ibiza he told me he had met someone else and our relationship was now over. I had no job. He then added that I needed to come clean the garden, otherwise he would get rid of the dog or slit his throat.
In the next part of Debbie’s story she explains how she was threatened, left virtually penniless and dropped to just 7st in weight
Abusive fathers will use their children in a variety of different ways to perpetuate domestic abuse. Using children is highly effective as a way of exerting power and control over their intimate partners or former partners.
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